symptoms of addiction
Too all the Slurpee Addicts out there: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!This is a list of symptoms of addiction (all of which are, sadly, based on true stories)
• You know what Slurpee flavours the local 7-11 currently has
• You know what the consistencies are like -- either before you arrive and/or pour from the taps
• You know the names of the Clerks that work at 7-11
• The clerks not only know that it's your birthday, but also let you and your friend have your Slurpee for free! (Thanks kelly! Thanks Mattie!)
• You cry if the 7-Eleven gets robbed, and calm yourself down with another Slurpee
• Your tongue is stained the color of your favourite Slurpee flavour
• You deliberately take your time while drawing your Slurpee from the machine and wander around a bit before going to the till, in order to "defrost" before heading back into the cold.
• You know which clerk drives which vehicle.
• You know which clerks work what shifts
• If you don't arrive at your usual 7-11 store as you usually do, they ask what happened to you the next time that you go there.
• You know when the month has changed only when you notice that the "flavor of the month" has been changed.
• You base your judgment on how cold it is outside by the amount of time it takes for the flowing Slurpee in your straw to freeze solid.
• You know when the "rush hours" are, and (thus) when to go for a Slurpee in order to guarantee the best possible consistencies.
• Your reflex aims to ensure that your Slurpee remains perpendicular to the ground, without spilling, if you may slip and fall.
• You know where all local 7-11 locations are.
• Know how good or bad the consistencies are by just looking at the product, before even drawing it.
• You obtain the ability (as long as the consistency is right) to pile the Slurpee vertically four inches above the cup rim perfectly, without it falling over.
• When your excretions predictably reflect the colored flavor that you've recently consumed.
• Your gloves freeze to the sides of the cup while your walking home.
• You dedicate a website to Slurpees.
• You have a need to stop whenever you see a 7-11
• You have several Slurpee cups sitting around
• You have enough cups to make a fort with
• You do favors for others only because you've been promised a Slurpee reward.
• You look to see how close the nearest 7-11 is before ever arriving at a new school, job, or home.
• When your favorite time of day is 7:11 (AM/PM)
• When you develop withdraw symptoms if you don't get your daily (if not hourly) "fix"
• When you have pictures of Slurpees placed into your photo album, tacked to your walls, or framed, not to mention various pictures of your favorite 7-Eleven store.
• When you have the local 7-Eleven stores' phone numbers written into your personal phone book, on speed dial, or (if the addiction is serious) memorized.
• You only associate with people who are of "your kind"; that is, only with persons who share your passion for the oh-so-good Slurpee
• The 7-11 clerks know YOUR name.
• You never turn down an opportunity to have a Slurpee, even if you are having a migraine and have a nasty cold.
• You find yourself lecturing others on Slurpee Etiquette, the importance of Consistencies, and the best 7-Eleven’s around town.
• You chew Slurpee Gum for the same reasons that a smoker chews nicoret: to soothe your addiction until you can get yourself another Slurpee
• Whenever somebody starts to talk about cup sizes, your initial thought is, "yellow cup or clear cup?" Your embarrassment is soothed by another Slurpee.
• Sometimes you go to your usual 7-Eleven (despite the fact that their current flavours are disappointing) because you miss them and you want to make sure that they don't worry about your absence.
• When the clerk says, "you again?" Except, they aren't all too surprised.
• It's not uncommon for you to phone them up and ask what Slurpee flavours they have and what the consistencies are like. (That is, if you haven't been there yet that day)
• When your sister wakes you up in the middle of the night and asks if you want to come to the 7-Eleven with her, you only hesitation is whether or not you should wear a jacket.
• During your three hour Biology Lab, while waiting for your bacterial sample to be finished incubating (which was going to take another 45 minutes), you leave class and walk to the nearest 7-Eleven to get a yummy Slurpee. When you finish, you return to class, unnoticed, to finish your experiment
• When you ask for a wad of Slurpee coupons for your Birthday and/or Christmas present
• 7-Eleven calls you to tell you that your Slurpee is ready (yes this did happen to me)
• If you had a catch phrase if would be:
"Mmmm....Slurpee"
"Wanna go for a Slurpee???"
"I'm thirsty" (often followed by the preceding quote)
... or would somehow include 'Slurpee' or '7-Eleven'
• When people refer to you as the "Slurpee girl" (or guy, if that applies)
• When you start your day with a Slurpee, and end it with a Slurpee
• When it's not odd for you to always be seen with a Slurpee at your side.
• You sit on the heat register because its -30C outside and not warm enough inside to keep you from shivering as you drink your Slurpee.
• When the bitterly cold winter is no reason not to have a Slurpee. In fact, it's a good thing: that way, your Slurpee won't melt on the way home.
• When the "bestest" present of all would be a life supply of Slurpees.
• When the best part of playing softball is getting the after-game Slurpee. A big one to celebrate your win, or a big one to cheer yourself up.
• When your "slip-of-the-tongues" always include Slurpee. That is, instead of saying, "hi bob," you say, "hi Slurpee!" It's Freudian!
• When, in the dead of winter, you get yourself a Slurpee and a hot chocolate to balance it all out.
• When the only thing that gets you through the school/work day is knowing that you'll be able to get a Slurpee at its end.
• When, after every burp, you truthfully comment (aloud or to yourself), "Mmmm. Tastes like Slurpee..."
• When you try to grow a Slurpee tree by "planting" a Slurpee cup into the ground. [Sadly, this did not work...]
• When the first thing you do in the morning is jump onto your older sisters bed and cry, "'lurpee! 'lurpee! 'lurpee!" in hope that she'll get up and take you to the 7-Eleven
• When all your doodles contain the images of or the words, "Slurpee" and "7-Eleven."
• When you think (and believe) that Slurpee cures everything. [someone told me this only applies to myself, and that Slurpee only makes me feel better--not them. Who knew?]
• When you build a 7-Eleven as part of the lego city that you're constructing.
• When you attempt to build a Slurpee out of lego blocks.
• When all your inspirational quotes somehow include the term Slurpee or 7-Eleven (as in, "there's always a Slurpee at the end of the rainbow" or "When it's the darkest, there's the promise of an open 7-Eleven", "A Slurpee a day keeps the psychiatrist at bay", etc)
• When you wait for the do-not-draw-product-when-flashing light on the machine to stop blinking just so you can have some of your favourite flavour
• When the best part of a movie or television show is the part when the main character walked or drove past a 7-Eleven, went into a 7-Eleven, or (the BEST part) getting a Slurpee.
• When you somehow manage to always have a Slurpee in your hand.
• When you find yourself complaining and upset about the fact that the closet 7-Eleven to the university is a river and two train stops away... There's no way you can go there and back in your 10 minute break between class!!!
• When you feel personally insulted when people call slushes from other stores "Slurpees." You also then make it your duty to lecture them on the differences between Slurpees and the other stuff, and how wrong it is to call any non-Slurpee a Slurpee.
• You can't decide which is worse: the fact that your older sister is moving out and to the other side of town, or the fact that there's no 7-Eleven where she'll be (thus, making long visits quite complicated)
• For Halloween you want to be a Slurpee
• You opt to be paid in Slurpees when possible.
• You have EVERY single collectible cup ever made by 7-Eleven (Submitted by Matt)
• Instead of wine, you refer to slurpees as your "happy juice" (Submitted by Matt)
• You pretend to look at other merchandise while sipping on your delicious Slurpee and head back for more after the cup is half empty, before lining up to pay for it. (Submitted)
• You walk to the 7-11 every day from the pool with your friends just to get a Slurpee, even though the pool is like almost a mile away. (Submitted by michelle)
• When you figure out you can get 64oz (1.9L) of the nectar of the gods (Slurpee!) by using a Double Gulp cup. (Submitted by Bob)
• You know your are addicted when the Clerks know the times you come in and make sure the Slurpee consistency is perfect for you. (submitted by Adrian, from the Slurpee mode crew)
• The first thing you look at when buying a new car is if your Slurpee fits in the cup holders. (submitted)
• You get offended when you see someone else drinking an Icee or a Froster (submitted)
• You buy a Slurpee to comfort you in times of frustration (submitted by Ben)
• Nothing discourages you from getting a Slurpee (submitted by Ben)
• You fake a sore throat just so friends and family pity you and buy you Slurpees to "soothe" your pain. (Submitted)
• You drive around town to 3-4 7-Elevens until you find the perfect consistency--this happens a lot in the summer on a hot day when you really need a Slurpee and you go in and its all watery........so you go to another store........and another......and another.......until your mission is complete! (Submitted)
• Free imitators won't do, so you go out of your way to get to the nearest 7-Eleven to get the real thing: a Slurpee!!! And it's definitely worth the drive! (Submitted by Jason)
• When you pull up to the 7-11 parking lot you quickly scan all the customers in the parking lot and get anxious when you see a lot of Slurpees in their hands because you know the consistency is all screwed up now. (submitted by Jeff Martin)
• In your mind you consider it a heroic sacrifice to let your kids have the good Slurpee first when the consistency is in jeopardy.(submitted by Jeff Martin)
• You have your Grade 12 Biology students write an "Answer Why" essay on the difference in Slurpee consistency between 7-11 and their competitors. (Submitted)
• You get brain freeze but continue to relentlessly sip until there is nothing left. (Submitted by biff parks)
• You know what times they refill the machines (Submitted by Amanda)
• You know whenever the shipment of more Slurpee 'ingredients' are arriving. (Submitted by Amanda)
• When the clear Slurpee cups end up replacing you're cupboard cups at home. (Submitted by Tim)
• Your local 7eleven has made your birthday a holiday (Submitted by Stephan)
• You get a PHd in Slurpee-flavor mixing (Submitted by Stephan)
• You get sun-stroke when you don't have your daily (or hourly) fix (Submitted by Stephan)
• When you go to the doctor and ask him if "Brain Freeze" is a valid medical condition to allow you to get the afternoon off work (so you can sneak down to 7-Eleven and get another Slurpee...) (Submitted)
• You convince two of your friends to drive you to 7-11 to get Slurpees and when you finish your Slurpee 20 minutes before they finish theirs, they end up giving you theirs because they are too lame to finish them and you can't let good Slurpee go to waste. (Submitted by Monica)
• Before you go out for the night, you make sure that you have the exact amount of money for a large Slurpee because you know a Slurpee-run is inevitable. (Submitted by Mike)
• You rob a 7-11 and try to carry out the slurpy machine instead of the cash. (submitted) [note: don't rob the 7-Eleven, because that's just wrong...rob someone else instead]
• You've started an SA (Slurpaholics anonymous) group (Submitted by Geoff)
• Every time you leave the 7-Eleven, the clerk says, "see you in an hour" (and that's NOT an exaggeration) (Submitted by Geoff)
• You read every example on this page (and most, if not all apply to you!) (Submitted by Ray and Joyce)
• Before vacationing in a new locale, you check to make sure there's an accessible 7-11.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You take your children on a pilgrimage to the 7-11 where you, as a child, first became an addict. If it is not there or is no longer a 7-11, you mourn.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You know where the 7-11 staff keeps the extra long straws and 40 ounce cups.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You tutor new-comers on how to maximize their Slurpee experience with tips on applying the dome lid, opening the plastic-encapsulated straws.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You miss the old big blue 44-ounce PAPER cups and you've emailed 7-11 to tell them the plastic cups have "an odor" which interferes with the product's quality.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You know just how to tamp the cup on the counter to settle the product to make room for more.(Submitted by Kathy)
• After going twice in one day, you wait until after the shift-change so as not to have to face the same clerks a third time.(Submitted by Kathy)
• The elderly 7-11 clerk looks at your teenager and says, "I remember when he was just a baby!"(Submitted by Kathy)
• Your brother-in-law (from Calgary, Canada) and you go off into a corner to talk about Slurpees while everyone else is opening their Christmas presents. (Submitted)
• You're late returning from your lunch-hour at work because of construction between your office and the 7-11. And you don't really care what the boss thinks about it.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You show the new employees at 7-11 how to advance the defrost cycle on the machine so they can be ready for you next time.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You know the OLD Cornelius machines are much preferred to the newer ones, and you encourage your local 7-11 to maintain their old machine rather than "upgrading" to the new one.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You rant at any strange 7-11 which has the audacity to NOT serve Coke (or Pepsi...it'll do in a pinch) Slurpee. You threaten to report them to Southland and the FDA.(Submitted by Kathy)
• When there machine's down, and you've been in day after day to check, they buy you a free Slurpee to apologize when they finally get back on track.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You persuade your child to do her science project on the expansion of water as it freezes to ice, and demonstrate that property by allowing an only-partially-frozen liquid Slurpee to erupt through the top of the dome lid.(Submitted by Kathy)
• Your dream job is to "shop" 7-11's to determine whether they are up to spec and report back to headquarters your findings.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You ask the manager about Slurpee yields being too low when the machine seems too syrup-heavily-calibrated. (Submitted)
• You re-draw the "food pyramid" with Coca-Cola Slurpee replacing the "carb" section at the bottom.(Submitted by Kathy)
• Everybody else is getting coffee and hot chocolate....(Submitted by Kathy)
• You keep a "coldest day with a Slurpee" personal-best record (so far, I'm only down to 3 degrees F, but I'm from Florida and had a late start).(Submitted by Kathy)
• You petition the airlines to serve Slurpees.(Submitted by Kathy)
• You apply for protection under the "Americans with Disabilities Act" to have a longer lunch hour to get back and forth to 7-11 as a "reasonable accommodation" to your disability.(Submitted by Kathy)
• When you're hospitalized, your friends bring you Slurpees instead of flowers.(Submitted by Kathy)
• The clerks give you credit based on the fact that they know you'll be back in a few hours (submitted)
• While driving (especially in cars with stick-shift), you risk crashing your vehicle so you can hold your Slurpee out of the harmful rays of the sun (keeping it in shadow at all times) so as to prolong its life. (Submitted by Scott)
• (For weight watchers everywhere) You consider it Divine Intervention that 7-11 now has a 0-calorie, 0-point Slurpee (the New Diet Pepsi Slurpee HALLELUJAH!!) (Submitted by Scott)
• You visit eBay, Google, and every other search engine known to man in the hopes of finding an actual Slurpee machine for sale. (Submitted by Scott)
• Your fondest memories of childhood include being allowed in the *gasp* backroom of your local 7-11 to search for that one rare comic-book hero Slurpee cup you needed to finish your collection and the joy of finding it and handing it to the clerk to have it filled up (these were the days before self-service Slurpees) (Submitted by Scott)
• You consider it sacrilege when someone overfills their Slurpee cup and it spills over the side of the cup and onto the floor. (Submitted by Scott)
• You frown when your kids can't finish their Slurpee at one sitting and they want to …ack…*freeze* it for later consumption -- because we all know that a Slurpee that's frozen solid is no longer a Slurpee, it's a big popsicle. (Submitted by Scott)
• You hate seeing partially-filled cups of melted Slurpees next to the machine that were left by people who "tried" a flavor and decided they didn't like it. All flavors of Slurpee are good and deserve to be finished!! (Submitted by Scott)
• Your whole day can be ruined by not finding a single 7-11 on the way home from work that carries that particular Slurpee flavor you're craving. (Submitted by Scott)
• You still have sleepless nights wondering how it is that there can be three 7-11's within spittin' distance of each other by your folks' house but there's not a Slurpee to be found within miles of your home (especially when you live in the 11 th -largest city in the United States!) (Submitted by Scott)
• You consider getting a 7-11 franchise just so you can make your own Slurpees (tm and all!) in full accordance with the law. (Submitted by Scott)
• You patiently wait for the clerk to do whatever magic is necessary to get a non-functional spout to work because, dang it, you want THAT flavor and no other. (Submitted by Scott)
• The ultimate relaxation exercise is to watch the spinning thingies behind the Slurpee machine dispensing nozzle circle around and around, not too fast, not too slow, and seeing the perfect consistency of Slurpee being maintained. (Submitted by Scott)
• You dream of a day when all flavors, fruity and cola, diet and regular, can coexist under one roof in a "mega" 7-11 store. (Submitted by Scott)
• You feel that you've done your part for world peace and touched someone else's life when you introduce a Slurpee to someone from another country. (Submitted by Scott)
• You spend way too much time at work coming up with items for this list rather than actually do the job you're getting paid for. (Submitted by Scott)
• You always get gas at 7-11 (for your car!) even if the price is higher, just so you can get your Slurpee fix too!(Submitted by Lisa)
• You have stopped taking your anti-depressants and replaced then with Slurpees! Works just as well and no side effects (except the occasional brain freeze!) (Submitted by Lisa) [Note from Nini: Don't actually stop taking your medication unless your doctor advises you to do so. Feel free to discuss options such as Slurpee Therapy with them.]
• You know the exact time the defrost system kicks on and avoid it at all costs (submitted by Jacoby)
• You know more about the slurpee machine then the new clerks (submitted by Jacoby)
• When there is a 7-11 5 minutes away, but you opt for the one 30 minutes away because they have more flavors (submitted by Brad Kolar)
• On your wedding day, you and your new spouse stop at 7-Eleven between the ceremony and reception. (True story!!! Submitted by Becky)
• You know you're addicted to slurpee when you bike 30 miles just to visit all six 7-11s in your area. (Submitted)
• You know you are addicted when you get your kids hooked, and buy them their own cups, just to get them to go to 7-11 to get a slurpee! (Submitted by Kim)
• You know you are addicted when you coach a softball team, and if you don't have your slurpee with you, your girls ask you if you are feeling alright! (Submitted by Kim)
• You know you are addicted if you are too lazy to get up, and send your fiance out at 2 AM to get a slurpee! (Submitted by Kim)
• You know you are addicted when your cousin gets a job at 7-11(3rd shift) and you purposely go visit her at midnight to get your free slurpee that she knows you "just have to have"! (Submitted by Kim)
• You get all excited when the Girl Scout camp director says she's collecting Slurpee lids for a craft project...for 300 girls!!! You can help! (Submitted by Kathy)
• You know how many Weight Watchers points there are in Slurpees and go without any other "empty calories" to keep on the program. (Submitted by Kathy)
• All during your dream trip to Alaska you ponder: why so many 7-11s in Canada and NONE in Alaska? (Submitted by Kathy)
• You try to convince the employees of your nearby 7-Eleven store to sell you their Slurpee machine(s).. and never have to leave the comfort of your own home to get a slurpee ever again (Submitted by Kyle)
• Shortly after the birth of your first child, the clerks take turns coming out to the car to see her while your husband gets the Slurpees (Submitted by Elisa)
• You have your own personal flavour combination that everybody knows is yours (Submitted by Steve)
• When you write on your math test that 7 and 11 are consecutive odd integers (real story; submitted by Rivka)
• When you cry when you hear 7-Eleven raised their prices on slurpees (Submitted by Rivka)
• You pray to it [the Slurpee] everyday (Submitted by Justin)
• You make everything out of Slurpee cups (Submitted by Justin)
• You teach your parrot to say "Pollie want a Slurpee" (Submitted by Justin)
• When the back seat of your car is full of slurpee cups just in case you stop for a slurpee and someone else is with you. Then they can use one of your cups because refills are cheaper, but they must return your cup to you! (Submitted)
• The first beverage you introduce your child to is a slurpee! (Submitted)
• You are willing to go to stores you hate, because you know you can stop at 7-Eleven on the way home. (Submitted by Jennifer)
• You have mastered the art of drinking Slurpees and have not had a brain freeze for 5 years. (Submitted by Kyler)
Have anything to add to this list? Then feel free to email your submission to me :)
Last Updated: November 5, 2007
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